The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour
of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one
less leer. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This
will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vordskontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
